Get all 30 Absconding Life releases available on Bandcamp and save 90%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Ambient -1: Music from Airports, No Need to Protect the Environment, the Second Coming is Nigh, Still Life With Dead Corpse, IV/IIII.I, Immunity Threshold, Not the Way We Used to Be, Dead Dreams, Noise, Grind, Abscond, Revolt!, and 22 more.
1. |
Preface: Sat Simpering ☽
00:12
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2. |
#264 - Reliquary
00:14
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This is it. I wholly resign myself to this fate. From today, I will be washing out vessels that once contained human souls.
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3. |
#256 - Rumination
00:53
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Stick your fingers down my throat then your wrists and your forearms, elbows and halfway up to the shoulder. Scoop out all the butterflies, get them the fuck out of there - I didn't give them permission to take up residence in me. It's my body and this symbiosis is not mutually beneficial,
it's parasitic.
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5. |
#231 - Cataleptic
00:51
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Listening to this song should feel like barbed wire carving up every vein in my body, dissecting it from the inside out while Japanese nanobombs detonate every cell in my heart and my brain cells are tattooed with bile. But I feel nothing really, just so terribly sad and the worst part is that I cannot tell where it hurts.
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6. |
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You never told me that you loved me, I mean your mouth spoke the words but your heart never did. And your eyes...? Your eyes must be the reason scientists discovered negative temperatures, and that objects below absolute zero will transmit their heat to "warmer" bodies.
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7. |
#419 - Segue
00:47
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I can't fuck me into you or even you into me (which is less ideal) even with our nails etching fingerprint friction into our ribs I want to be your Siamese twin, I want our ribs like a Venn diagram and our hearts like a binary star, we can lock lips feigned incestuously.
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9. |
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I can hear the shadows of my footsteps moving when I walk home alone at night and one day they'll become out of sync and I'll be paranoid of yet another thing: paranoid that I'm being followed everywhere by something I don't realise I can see or something I don't realise is something I can see.
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10. |
#291 - Doctor's Note
00:21
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I dreamt I got a doctor's note to give to God excusing me from life - she said my heart had simply fallen to pieces one day and even with cryogenics and the lightning rate at which science was advancing there would be nothing any kind of medic could ever do for me.
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11. |
#152 - Effete
00:25
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When you said "charity shop" in your Alabaman accent it sounded like "sherry shop" to me, and that was so cute, but that same night when you said, "Come inside, I can't have kids." I wanted to die, but I kissed you anyway.
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12. |
#001 - Promise
00:17
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Promise that you were, promise that you are, promise that you will be always there for me.
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13. |
#004 - Another Susan
00:11
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I might be biased since I love you and all, but your light is the most beautiful of all lights, and also the softest and warmest.
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14. |
#262 - Sui Generis
00:16
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Kisses are too easy, too commonplace - so I'll show you I love you in my own unique way: with a blade in my gut slowly twisting.
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15. |
#277 - You Know
00:35
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I would, without hesitation, run everyone's head through with an axe or a chainsaw. Or, bereft of weapons and bereft emotionally, would detach my hand and excise the skin and flesh from my forearm with my teeth, and with the rugged asphalt below file my ulna down to a stake and use it to run them all through with a radius club as back up (but bone breaks easily on bone). Because nothing matters except for me and you.
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16. |
#311 - Jorōgumo
01:16
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When you slid the knife in just above your navel, and when you began pulling, then pushing up to your collarbones, falcate, I thought you had committed to committing suicide in as flamboyant a manner as possible. But then I saw the marrow pouring like a landslide out from your ribs, defleshed, forming spiders' legs - each one three times the size of me. And now, from down below, I catch a glimpse up at your swollen heart, impaled, taunting me, a wastrel and a waif.
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17. |
#024 - Overnight
00:15
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I find myself excited at the thought of losing sleep with you, just not in bed.
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18. |
#035 - Virgin
00:39
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I still find it craaaaazy that I'll lie about the most utterly diminutive things that I have no reason to lie about anymore, and I'm sorry I told you a wasn't a virgin, but maybe that was a self-defence mechanism so I could find solace in the illusion that I never lost my virginity to someone like you.
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19. |
#033 - Tryst
00:25
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If you were to say we had to meet in secret always, I'd probably oblige but I think I'd have to do something to my throat, lungs, larynx, mouth or tongue causing muteness because I want to tell everyone about you.
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20. |
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My muscles have started cramping because they haven't felt your touch in so long and now they're damaged irreparably. But don't worry, they'll cicatrise and I'll have yet more scars to remind me of you.
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21. |
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It is not because I find you repugnant that I don't want to kiss your chest and hips and begin that journey of repetitions because I do and I hate myself enough to enjoy giving myself more reasons to hate myself, but this listless apathy has dulled the success of its end-time so I'll tell you, "No." and instead sit at the foot of your bed and eat the chocolate your mother buys me every week she thinks I don't cut myself. And I won't share, because unlike with me, your joys are not the culmination of a misinformed premise.
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22. |
#025 - Doorstopper
00:22
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I saw you'd used a knife as a doorstopper and I thought to myself that that was ingenious, as apart from for cutting up food I'd never use one for anything else save perhaps to cut out your tongue so I don't have to be subjected to the timbre and soporific rhythm of your voice, sophistic.
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23. |
#050 - Pale Ash Sunrise
00:19
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Dead under a pale ash sunrise/Blood, blue, spills out of the sides of my eyes/Strangled by your eclipsing halo/Kissed by anaemic French lilac lips/Anorexic and devoid of oxygen
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24. |
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25. |
#327 - Surprise
00:36
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Surprise yourself
Again
For once
Easel-wipe your memories
Rediscover yourself
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26. |
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I am sorry my limbs are shaking,
It is just that
Everything is on tenterhooks
When other people are around,
Like they are snaring in the veins of my hands
Disabling me from grasping anything firmly
Like the ideas in my mind
Laugh at me when I come -
I still have veins in places
That society's models,
Fashion magazines
And general practitioners
Tell me they should not be,
And though I tell myself
I am happy alone,
I am still waiting
I am really only waiting for one thing
I run my fingers down your spine
Slowly but firmly
Like nails on a blackboard,
You wrote the song in my head,
I came all over you,
Gold
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27. |
#332 - Vainglorious
00:39
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You are not God, you are far too ignorant to even fathom the most basic of details of your perfect lover. So why don't you try and make yourself a better person for everyone you date, as well as everyone you don't but also happen to meet, instead of looking for something that doesn't exist even in universes you cannot reach (be they real or imaginary, it does not matter), and that you wouldn't even clock if you could?
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28. |
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And you
Skip down
Stairs just
Like me,
Don't die
Like me
Because
I think
Your soul
And mine
Can dance
Together
That's why...
Forgive me,
I gave my heart to the research faculty
Your smile is not feigned in the slightest
But it betrays all of your sadness
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29. |
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30. |
#201 - Standing
00:13
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Oh come on, I've been standing in this road for long enough now. [You must have realised that honking your car horn isn't going to do anything much.] Just run me over already.
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31. |
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Beg for God's forgiveness? Are you fucking kidding me? God should be begging for mine. Mine, and everyone else's first. Maybe that's why he doesn't dare show his face. Maybe that's why he doesn't dare show any sign of existence. Maybe he killed himself out of guilt. But I'll bet he didn't have the guts to do what was right and absconded from the universe whimpering, a coward.
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32. |
#200 - Great
00:22
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I would have been great twenty years ago, do you want to send me back? Because nowadays you have to know more than almost everything to break new ground - and all those people are dead.
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33. |
#375 - Corundum
00:29
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Do you move because you do,
Or because the light moves you?
Your scabs look like rubies and people do not care
About breaking apart the Earth to excise them
So why should I even consider not taking what I want?
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34. |
#211 - Romantic
00:48
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I have thought about you
In a romantic sense
Buried in my garden
Underneath the rose bushes
That blossom so beautifully,
That could be harvested for some kid
To give his crush on Valentine's day
And even though I'm not a massive fan
Of Valentine's day
I still think it could make for
A wonderfully romantic gesture
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35. |
#387 - ##########
00:13
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I am sorry but I just don't know
I know you said, "I told you so."
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Absconding Life London, UK
Not-for-profit experimental music project. Any money received by me will go directly to a registered charity of your choice.
If none is specified it will go to this month's charity: The Orchid Project.
Please see the Tumblr post linked below for more information.
P.S. Hello Genevieve, I love you. You are great.
... more
Absconding Life recommends:
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An often overlooked grindcore classic. Unique riffs with a well-honed formula, rhythmic and oblique drumming, and some of my favourite high-pitched shrieking this side of the Earth's crust. Listen.
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If you haven't heard of this classic, what are you doing here!? Although far from being my favourite (Hybrid Noisebloom was my first noise love), it is important to recognise its legacy and influence.
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The Sound of The Spectacle
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